Monday, 23 February 2015

Age Difference, Trouble Makers and Shidduchim


We get a lot of comments come in regarding appropriate age difference for Shidduchim especially if the man wants to have children or to have more children (in the event of second marriages). Many get angry to consider that a man over 40 or even over 50 is wanting more children. Of course, the more the man is over 50, the larger the age gap will be.

Here is a story that is food for thought.

In Hungary there was a rabbi who became a very major influence in the Litvish world. His name was Rabbi Akiva Eiger and he lived 1761 - 1837. Rabbi Akiva Eiger married at the right age and had 4 children with his wife. Sadly she died when they were in their early 30's. When he was 34, he married a second time to a woman who was just 16 years old. That gives an age difference of 18 years. 

Rabbi Akiva Eiger and his second wife had 13 children together. I don't know much of who the 13 children were but one of the children from the first wife was a daughter who married the Chatam Sofer and from whom the whole lineage of the Sofer family descended.

What does this have to do with trouble makers? There were those who tried to prevent the Chatam Sofer from marrying the daughter of Rabbi Akiva Eiger. They came up with various problem they perceived in the daughter of Rabbi Akiva Eiger. Was it because she was orphaned from her mother? For those who know the great rabbis who came from this couple, stopping that Shidduch would have been a great loss to all of Am Yisrael.

Today, I doubt a day goes by without someone learning something from Rabbi Akiva Eiger. The Chatam Sofer and his children also made a very great contribution. 

There is much, much more to Shidduchim than we as mere humans could ever come to understand.  All we can do is put in our effort and do our best not to prevent good Shidduchim from happening. Of course, since Shidduchim really are all made in Shamayim, it is important to put in our effort practically to meet Shadchanim, go on dates, work on ourselves etc and also to Daven daily and increase in Torah and Mitzvos.

We hope you have enjoyed the story. Do you have a story to share? Do comment below or be in touch to send us your story.

This post is prepared for you by Shoshanah Shear from Chessed Ve'Emet


Sunday, 22 February 2015

Shidduch Sunday - 6

After a few days of snow, beautiful white scenery and lots of other winter weather, it's time for another "Shidduch Sunday" post. Before I continue I'd like to ask a question. Are you already on our Shidduch database? If the answer is yes, what do you think of our "Shidduch Sunday" posts? Have you seen them at all?

If you have and you would like to be featured, please send in two - four sentences that you are happy to have up online. The teaser needs to be written in an anonymous manner, that means, leave out name, country, city and main identifying info. But do add something like, age, Hashkafa and something important to you whether that be age of potential spouse, having more children, looking for a second marriage or first marriage.

We'd love to receive your teasers. If you are already on our Shidduch database, we presume you have our email address.

In the meantime, for today we have a group of women we are featuring. These women are from 50 years to 74 years. Each are special in their own way. Each of them are talented and needing a second marriage. Come on guys!! There must be more Jewish men who would like to marry a second time and are interested in a woman closer to their own age range.

We'd like to hear from you men. Please comment at the end of this post or send in a comment. If you know any Jewish men who are looking to get married, please have them be in touch with us at Chessed Ve'Emet. The Lubavitcher Rebbe recommended that we turn to a Shadchan when looking to get married. As such we have set up a caring, professional Shidduch service and invite you to be in touch.

Have a blessed week. We'd love to hear good news for this week and better yet, to match everyone on our Shidduch database to the right Jewish partner for them.

This post is prepared for you by Shoshanah Shear of Chessed Ve'Emet


Tuesday, 17 February 2015

Who Is An Orphan

I was just talking to a woman in our community about our Bayit Chadash Gemach and the fact that we focus on assisting orphans at the time they marry. She listened and then asked, "do you have time for a little story?"

"Yes," I responded. "I have a few minutes."

"Good, then here is the story. There once was a teacher who asked her class if anyone knew what an orphan is. 'Dear children', she began, 'can anyone tell me what an orphan is. Does anyone know?'

'I know,' a five year old girl said as she put up her hand. 'My mommy told me! She explained to me that I didn't grow in her tummy, I grew in her heart'

Isn't that a lovely story?" the woman asked.

Since I established my Bayit Chadash Gemach in the merit of my late father Nathan Gershon ben Nathan a"h who was born an orphan and who died when I was still in school, I was not sure what to say. It certainly gives much food for thought. 

What are your thoughts of the story? Do you know what an orphan is? How would you explain the concept of an orphan to a child.

Please post your comment in the comment section below. We'd love to hear your thoughts.

This post is prepared for you by Shoshanah Shear of Chessed Ve'Emet

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