1) How does one register or obtain assistance from us?
ANSWER: The process is easy. Send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org and we will send you our detailed questionnaire for you to complete. As soon as we receive the answers together with the nominal registration fee, your details will be put on our database and we will begin to work to help bring you to chuppah.
For those who have difficulty completing the questionnaire we offer one-on-one sessions to assist you. We also have workshops to work through the questions and various issues that arise when completing the questionnaire. These workshops are aimed to assist singles to grow in the process and to ease the path of searching for the right life partner.
For those who are interested we also have a World Wide Tehillim Group together with davening at Kivrei Tzaddikim (graves of the righteous). Please see the relevant posts on this blog related to these services or email for further information.
2) Why is the questionnaire so detailed and lengthy?
ANSWER: In years gone by, shidduchim were arranged by our parents, and communities were closer together, making the search process much easier. All of Am Yisrael was focused on making sure that effective shidduchim were formed and that Jews married from 13 years to 18 or 20 years of age. "Older singles" was a rather rare phenomenon.
In today's time Am Yisrael is scattered across the globe and society has changed so that we are typically in high school in our teens. Once leaving high school, one progresses to Yeshiva or College or University. More and more, singles get caught up in life and before they know it they are into their twenties and older and are not yet married.
In times gone by, the types of interests and pastimes, work and study that Jews were involved in were quite specific. Men were mostly studying Torah and were involved in either medicine or a trade or business to bring in their livelihood and spare time was spent engaged in Torah.
Today things are quite different. Since the Haskala movement (the enlightenment movement), Jews began studying all manner of secular subjects. The approach to Torah and Judaism began to change and with it, the thoughts and ideas of each Jew expanded.
In years gone by it was easy: You either followed Moshe Rabeinu or you did not. You either followed Yehoshuah or you did not. In days when the tribes were still clearly identifiable, Jews knew to which tribe they belonged and their path in their service of Hashem was clear. Even more recently, one was either Ashkenazi or Sefardi; then came the difference between those who followed an approach in keeping with the teachings of the Gaon of Vilna or of the Baal Shem Tov. The path to serving Hashem was still quite specific.
Today however, Am Yisrael has developed so many differing paths and groups that we hardly recognise or remember what it is to be a Jew. As a result, if one were to take a single Jewish girl and a single Jewish guy and put them together, that does not work as easily as it somehow did in the past. While some Jewish women are open to any Jewish man and will take on his chosen path in service of Hashem, there are other women who are very specific that they will only marry a man who is the same path as they are. Both from religious homes or both from secular homes, both Ashkenazi, both Sefardi and an array of other avenues amongst these.
Some want a home that is open to guests while others want a home that is private. Some like shiurim in their home, some prefer to socialise and have games evenings and only study Torah if they go to a shiur or when attending Shul.
Some want to raise their children with a very natural diet and approach to health, while others will only consider alopathic medicine.
Since there are so many varieties of options open and since somehow we seem to have become a lot more selective as to who we will or won't marry (provided they are Jewish), it becomes necessary to be absolutely clear about what kind of home one wishes to create and build and who the most appropriate life partner for this home would be.
We recognise that Hashem gives each person their own unique set of interests, likes, dislikes, strangths, weaknesses, tests and experiences. Our aim in shidduchim and in helping our fellow Jew to get married, is that we help them to marry the right person and to chose their life partner for the right reasons. We aim for the marriage to be a successful, lasting and strong one. For this reason we have taken the time to apply a lot of thought and effort to compile a questionnaire that will both give you clarity of what you are looking for and help us to know what kind of person would be best suited to match you with.
We understand that the answering of a detailed questionnaire takes time to complete. However, it is better to invest a little time before marrying and to marry the right person than to be pushed into something that would be wrong for you without your knowing it and suffer more later.
We do hope that this clarifies all questions as to why our approach is as it is. If you have any other questions, please do email us.
If you are a friend or relative who is single, please email us and begin the process so that we can work together to help them to come to Chuppah and build a Bayit Ne'eman b'Yisrael.