Monday, 22 June 2009

Some Thoughts About Shidduchim


Helping another Jew to find their true soul mate is a major task. Some think it just takes connecting two singles of the opposite gender and then being prepared to join in the Simchah. The truth is that there is much more involved, especially in today's time.

The process of finding one life partner is a difficult and sensitive one. It is easy to get upset with those one hopes will help when ones soul mate does not seem to be appearing. We remember this only too well. However, there is another side to the story, the side of the Shadchan, the one is is working hard to bring you together with your someone special.

While waiting for ones soul mate it is perfectly acceptable and even advisable to be in touch with the Shadchanim to remind them that you are still around. However, when doing so, try to understand that the Shadchanim have probably been busy screening new singles and considering who might be suitable. If you have not had someone suggested to you it does not mean that the Shadchan has not been looking out for you. Keep davening and keep thinking positively.

Over the past few months, we have had some very inspiring singles join our database that really deserve a mention. We have a number of men and women who have enjoyed being married for 30 + years and now, finding themselves widowed, wish to find another partner to share their life with. We have even had someone in their late 70's eager to find that someone special.

Why, one might ask, would someone want to go to the trouble of marrying again in their late 70's. As these special singles explain, being married is such an invaluable part of life, that they want someone to share the rest of their days with.

Certainly, listening to their positive feedback about having a lasting marriage and their eagerness to marry again, we want to encourage all those younger singles to put marriage as a priority. Careers can be worked on within a good marriage. In addition, if you have truly married your soul mate, the chances are that he or she will be there encouraging you and davening for your success. If your career is important for you then you need the right life partner to make your chosen path a success.

If immersing yourself in Torah is important, again, you need the right person to encourage you to keep up your learning schedule, to listen to your new insights and to work with you in whatever your avoda is.

We have heard from some older singles who have not yet married, that life just seemed to pass them by. Before they knew it they were in their 30's or 40's. Yes, life can do that, so while you are busy enjoying life, continue to daven with all your heart for the right life partner. Take the time to think about who might be best suited to join you along your journey.

We have quality singles on our database ranging in ages from 20 to nearly 80 years old. Become an active participant in your shidduch process. Contact us today to help you find that someone special. Please take a look at our page on the website regarding our Shidduchim.

Before you get put off by the questionnaire, please remember that taking that extra time to put to paper the details of what kind of home you wish to build and who might be best suited to join you, enables both you and us to be more successful.

Here are a few comments sent in by some on our database:

"I felt that the form was very thorough and fine to complete... I'm just looking forward to meeting someone that meets the criteria I've specified.

I also appreciate your caring and encouraging emails of support... it really helps throughout this difficult process."

" I was very impressed by the quality of your questionnaire. You asked about truly relevant aspects of my life that will have an impact on finding an appropriate match and building a solid marriage. You dealt with questions of importance and benefit. You left room to answer with complete thoughts and openness. I believe that if a person is willing to fill out your questionnaire with sincerity, that person is already highlighted as someone who really wants to get married. Thank you so much for trying to help. "

" First of all, I just want to say thank you for taking the time to give me all this valuable information. It's very hard to be in this stage of life, and I find that even people who have been through it seem to forget how it was once they find their zivug. I really appreciate your effort. "

If you are Jewish and single or know of any Jewish singles, please encourage them to get in touch. We look forward to hearing from you and / or from them and to helping many more singles to come to Chuppah with the right person and to build a Bayit Ne'eman b'Yisrael.

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