Monday, 6 July 2009

Please, Think of Others Throughout Your Shidduchim


When setting up our Shidduch Service, one of the first tasks we carried out was to compile a comprehensive questionnaire that would enable us to get to know our clients and also for them to know themselves better. As with anything different to the norm, we get many complaints. Why is your questionnaire long or longer than usual? How can you expect us to take time to fill out all that? Why so many questions?

Over the past few weeks we learned an important lesson that turned these questions around. We began to realize that even with the thoroughness we try to go to, still we are not obtaining enough information. In the space of a few weeks, some recent Shidduchim we had arranged each took a similar turn. The reason being that one of the parties involved suddenly threw in information that they had previously withheld from us.

One went so far as to be uspet that we would set up a Shidduch that did not meet x criteria. We scoured the questionnaire, and that information was not present. We searched through our notes and that information was not present. At no time had this single or the others with the same problem notified us of certain factors that were important to them.

In order not to come up with this kind of problem, we wish to highlight to any Jewish singles wanting to work with us or with any other Shadchan. Most Shadchanim do not have Ruach HaKodesh or read minds. It is therefore the responsibility of the Jewish single to inform the Shadchan of all their needs and requirements. If something is important enough to turn down an otherwise good shidduch, then please, you need to admit that and inform your Shadchan in advance. Failing to do so not only wastes your time and upsets the Shadchan but could hurt or embarrass a fellow Jew (G-d forbid).

So we ask, please do take the time to complete the questionnaire as honestly as possible and then read it again and fill in any gaps. The more information you give us, the easier it will be to help you. We do understand that we are all human, and hence, if you forget to notify us of something that is important to you, please just let us know when you remember. If we set up a Shidduch based on all the other information but without that important key that was not given to us, please do forgive us. We can only work on the information that you provide us with. Yes, any additional information provided by your references is factored in, but we prefer to hear important facts directly from you.

We look forward to hearing from all Jewish singles. If you are Jewish, single and serious about getting married, do be in touch.

Thank you for your consideration. We look forward to hearing good news for all Jewish singles and for Am Yisrael as a whole

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