Since Tu B'Av is coming up on Sunday night – Monday, this weeks
Words of Prayer, Words of Kindness is in the
merit of
all single Jews of marriageable age to marry their Bashert (soulmate)
Shmiras HaLashon Thought
There
are many forms of Forbidden Speech:
Rechilus, which is gossip or tale bearing about another.
Lashon
Hara, which is spreading truthful information that
is derogatory.
Onas
Devarim which is hurting someone with your words
Chanifut
which is false flattery, when you go up to someone
and say "you are such a great man" but you don’t really mean it, is
said to flatter the other for ones own gain.
Motsei
Shem Ra which is spreading malicious lies about
another and is probably the worst of all of these as it literally kills the
person's name and can as a result damage his possibility for work, parnassa,
shidduchim and more
All of
these forms of speech are strongly forbidden by the Torah.
Ahavas Yisrael Thought
Every so often someone asks us for
information as to why we should marry a Jew and how to help another Jew to
understand this. A while ago, I came across this letter which I hope will touch
the hearts of all of you.
The letter is written to someone
called Sean by his father. I don’t know the author, if any of you do, please
let me know. It might be written to a male, but is equally relevant to all
Jewish women. We all need to hear these words, take them to heart and help our
fellow Jew to marry a Jew.
"Dear
Sean
I know
this might sound strange coming from a father who's far from a religious Jew,
but now that you're dating, there's something I need you to understand. The
single most important decision you'll ever make in life will not be about your education
or career. It will be whom you marry. Because who your wife will be will
determine, more than anything else in your adult life, the person you become,
the family you'll raise, what you'll leave on earth when it will be time to go.
I know the end of life isn't something you probably give much thought to. Not
many of us do, at least not until we became sick or old enough to see it
hovering on the horizon. But a final day does arrive, sooner or later, for each
of us. And when it comes, very few of the things we thought made such a big
difference will seem to matter at all. And other things we didn't bother to
give much thought to will suddenly loom very large. We'll want to look back at
our lives and feel that, in those areas, we pretty much did the right thing.
Sean,
the right thing for a Jewish person is to marry another Jew. Not only because
our religion requires it, which it does. But when Jews "marry out", they
disrespect who they are, they are disloyal to the Jewish past, and they chip
away at the Jewish future. Whether or not our family kept strictly Kosher or
observed Shabbat or attended services often enough is all one thing. But the
thought of bringing about the end of a proud Jewish line stretching back in
time for centuries is another. It's more than a religious transgression. It's a
betrayal.
You
never asked to be a Jew, it's true. You were born one. But that identity is not
a burden. It is a gift. It means you are part of something bigger, much bigger
than yourself. Each of us Jews is the culmination of the hopes of hundreds of
Jewish ancestors. Don't forget, you're not just Sean, you're Shmuel. And even
if you only use your Jewish name when you get called to the Torah, it is still
who you really are, an inheritance from your mother's all those Jews who came
before us, lived their lives – and sometimes willingly gave them up – to preserve
their Jewish identity and heritage.
Yes I
know, love is a powerful emotion. That's exactly why I'm writing this to you as
you BEGIN to date. The young women you become close to will form the pool from
which you will choose a life-mate. Don't give yourself the opportunity to fall
in love with someone you cannot, as a Jew in good conscience, marry. And never
forget that what the world calls "love" is not all there is to a
successful and happy life. Every marriage that ended in divorce or worse, after
all, was born in a rush of love. For a marriage to truly work, there must be
not only attraction and mutual care but shared ideals and goals. And apart of a
Jewish man or woman's goals should be an embrace of their Jewish identity, and
the instilling of that identity into their children. I don’t care whether the
girl you marry is white, black, yellow or if she speaks English, Hebrew,
Yiddish or Swahili. I don’t care if she was born a Jew or became one, legally,
properly, and out of sincere conviction. But if she isn't Jewish, I know there
will be tears, in your mother's eyes and mine – and also in Heaven.
They say
these days that most Jewish parents in America (it applies elsewhere too) don’t
care if their children marry other Jews or not. I hope it's not true, but even
if it is, remember what I always told you: Being a Jew means being ready to
buck the tide, to say no to others – even to many others – when something
important is at stake. Sean, you're my legacy to the future. May you always
have the courage and the strength to do the right thing.
Love,
Dad"
For those who wanted some Chizuk
from our Tehillim group, I have put another post - "Our Tehillim group - Unity and Healing in Action" up regarding a positive
outcome.
The names for this week can be
found on our Tehillim page.
If you know any Jewish
singles, please do put them in touch with us. In addition to our
Tehillim group we do have an active Shidduch service.
Shabbat Shalom to everyone
Shoshanah
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