Thursday, 24 November 2011

Enable a Kallah to Give Thanks

 Those who are American are busy preparing a day known as Thanksgiving. What are the things in your life you give thanks for?

If you are married, did you have your dream wedding? Were your parents there? How large was it? What were the trimmings? Did everything go according to plan?

While many like to share images of stunning group photo's from a wedding, do those of you excited about a wedding of 400 - 800 guests stop and consider the Kallot who don't have this?

In Eretz Yisrael, there is a Kallah right now, who should be happy, busily preparing her special day. Instead she sits and cries. Why? 
  • Her parents won't be there at her wedding. 
  • Not only is she an orphan but she does not even know how to make this wedding a reality. 
  • This is not even the first time she has been through this heartache. Already a previous engagement fell through purely because she did not have the finance or support to make her wedding a reality.

While those who have, sit and enjoy a meal with Turkey, yummy foods and think that is giving thanks, we ask you to remember those in this world who don't have. Yes there are starving in Africa and India, but think a little closer to home. Remember the Jewish orphan. Feel her pain and consider the fact that she too deserves her special day.

Please have mercy on her and give a gernerous donation. You can certainly give of Maasser for this. It is a very big Mitzvah to help a poor Orphan Kallah come to Chuppah. Make your Donation
Right here, Right NOW!
It can be either monetary or of any NEW item suitable to build a new Jewish home in Eretz Yisrael.


Monday, 21 November 2011

Evaluating Our Tehillim Group 3


While the odd comment comes trickling in, we are continuing our evaluation. Thus far we mentioned that our group meets during daylight hours on Shabbos wherever you are. The group is international which has benefits but poses certain difficulties in formulating a group rather than a list of promises that we have no idea whether they are being fulfilled or not.

We mentioned a need for interaction which needs to be from all members not just one or two. There is also a need for committment, both to the group and to reciting the Tehillim every Shabbos.

So our next idea is to have a monthly membership. People seem to value something that they pay for and are more likely to make that committment if a membership is involved.
After all if one wishes to play golf regularly, one becomes a member of a golf club. If one goes to Shul regularly one becomes a member of the Shul. If one goes to a library regularly one becomes a member of a library and so on.
The idea is that each Jewish woman joining the group pay a nominal monthly membership and can then submit as many names as they wish to according to the rules for submitting names.

Let us know what you think of the idea. If you object, let us know why. If you agree, let us know why and that you agree. Cost for membership has not yet been decided upon, ideas are welcome.

Sunday, 20 November 2011

Why Do Women Become Mothers?


According to modern research, the statistics of infertility has risen. What does a couple do when faced with the first few months going by and no sign of the blessing to their home. The first year, second year and more and still no blessing, in terms of children.

As you might notice from previous posts on this blog, amongst other groups of clients I work with has been the exciting and beautiful work of helping Jewish women open up to the Brachah of Children.

Some women who come for a treatment or join my special sub-group to my Tehillim group specifically for Zera Shel Kayema, share the difficult feedback they have been given by others and ask for Eitza as to how to manage with all manner of difficult comments. One group of comments has to do with being happy with what you have and not expecting more. 

In various places (Duties of the Heart; Laws for women by the Ben Ish Chai etc) we are taught to spend time being grateful for our lot. While much of this exercise relates to not desiring material objects that others have, many extend it to whether or not one is blessed with children.

So let's take a look for a few moments at the benefits of not having children:

  • First and foremost, more time for your husband, yourself and you as a couple
  • No morning sickness, no labour pains, no pain of childbirth, no risk of dying during child birth
  • No heartache or disappointment from disabled or ill or special needs children
  • No wasted time at doctors or other therapists that children might need to be taken to.
  • No worry about which school would be appropriate or whether the teacher will care or teach effectively.
  • No worry about your child being exposed to the wrong crowd or teachers or any other negative influence
  • No worry about potential accidents
  • No having to be neat and keep items out of the reach of children
  • NO............

Would you like to complete the list?

While this exercise is important in order to value time given to you and being saved certain suffering or anguish, and to prevent on feeling anger or bitterness, if all Jewish women had this attitude we would be in the situation we were in Mitzrayim prior to Miriam talking to her parents. Well, if we go back to when Pharoah decreed no Jewish boys should be born, the time when Miriam's parents had divorced and encouraged other Jewish couples to do so too, if it were not to Miriam's wise counsel where would we be? Would we be counting our blessings at not having had children? Well, there might be a saving of suffering, disappointment etc but there would also be no Moshe Rabeinu, no leader to take us out of Mitzrayim and very probably no receivng of the Sefer Torah.

So while it is important not to feel jealousy for those couples blessed with children at the start of their marriage or even those couples forced to marry due to a baby on the way, still, there has to be a balance. 
For those Jewish women reading this post, those who might spend time complaining about the very list that women without children don't go through, we want to hear, what makes YOU become mothers. If there are, in fact, a list of benefits to not having children, what is it within you that makes you want children and even more children. Please stop by and share your thoughts so as to inspire and encourage those without children to keep on striving, keep on Davening and not to give up.

And, for those women not yet blessed with children, please do be in touch. Join our support group, join our special sub-group of our Tehillim group for those married Jewish women needing the blessing of Zera Shel Kayema. Book a session and have a treatment, some have been blessed after only 1 session. It could happen to YOU too!!

We look forward to hearing from you

Shoshanah Shear

Occupational Therapist R, Healing Facilitator
Certified Infant Massage Instructor
Certified Kallah Teacher


Evaluating Our Tehillim Group - 2



We have had one response to the start of Evaluating our Tehillim group. One of our Tehillim group members mentioned that perhaps we should consider the progress of the group like the development of an acorn into a tree. That is a beautiful thought.

While other women are contemplating our current status of Evaluation, here is the next thought to consider.

Most Tehillim groups take place in person. As such there is a set of books that the person facilitating the group can hand out. Each of these books contains the Tehillim for the day as arranged if the whole Sefer Tehillim is divided into 24 sections.

Now when the women come together to a common venue it is easy to see and monitor how many women have attended and how many Tehillim have been recited. Remember there are two goals here:
  • Number of women attendeding and
  • How many Perakim of Tehillim are recited.
Can we complete the whole Sefer Tehillim and if so how many times? 

Well, when the group takes place internationally, the facilitator relies on the group members interacting with her in order to know that they are actually reciting their Perakim of Tehillim.

We therefore need a method for women to interact. Perhaps we need to screen the women and only accept those who agree to interact, at least every x amount of time. If so, what will the time frame be?

Some women in the group interact about once in six months, how can I know that they are participating?

Some have sent emails saying that they know they agreed to x amount of Tehillim but have not yet managed to do their share. This comment proves my point and concern exactly.

So we need some criteria here. How often should the women interact and what method of interaction should we institute?

Please do send in your responses. Remember if this is to be a group, we need your interaction otherwise all it is in truth is my writing emails, posts etc, having a list of names and from my side, it appears nothing else is happening.

I need to know what transpires on YOUR end of the group. I don't want a solo here, I want a group.



Friday, 18 November 2011

Words of Prayer, Words of Kindness - 55


This Weeks Words of Prayer, Words of Kindness

is prepared in the merit of

Pidyon Shvuim for Yonaton ben Malka


Shmiras HaLashon

Be Careful Of The Words You Say. Keep Them Soft And Sweet, Because You Never Know, From Day To Day, Which Ones You'll Have To Eat (Unknown Author – if you know the author please let me know)


Honesty in Business

When doing shopping make sure you have completed your shopping and your trolley or basket is complete before entering into the queue. Do not leave your trolley or basket to "hold" your place while you go about your shopping and keep going to and fro to fill your trolley, making others wait for you to complete your shopping before they who have completed shopping can get to the cashier.

Respect the rules of the store, if there is a fast queue for 10 items or less, don’t try to push in with 11 or 13 or 15 items. Purchase your 10 items or less just as the queue is labelled to be. 

When setting your prices, if the country in which you live does not have coins below 10 agarot or 10 cents, don’t mark any items with digits below 10. To do so would be stealing from the customer. e.g. if you are accustomed to charge 9.97 for an item because you think that being below 10 customers will be more likely to purchase the item, keep in mind, if there are no 7c, you are effectively stealing 3c. Hence either charge 9.90 or 10 or make sure you have 3c to give as change. Note you are actually accruing two Aveiras, 1) general theft ie theft of money and 2) Geneivat HaDa'at – stealing someone's mind by making them think they are getting something that they are not.


This weeks blog posts:

Top of the List is a post about Evaluating our Tehillim Group. Do read it and send in only positive feedback. Over the next 2 weeks we will be evaluating and making changes.






Moving in Different Directions


The names for this week are to be found on our website 

Shabbat Shalom

Shoshanah Shear





Thursday, 17 November 2011

Evaluating Our Tehillim Group


Shalom, how nice of you to stop by and visit. (Directors note - please read this post with a friendly note and a song in your voice)

Have you heard that we have an international Tehillim group? Yes, it is a special group of Jewish women who unite around the world through reciting Tehillim EVERY Shabbat during daylight hours. Pretty cool. You got that right!

Did you know our Tehillim group has been going since 2008. Quite some time now!!

We've seen some changes, some improvements, many Yeshuos and some frustrations. 

Well it is time to visit our international Tehillim group, list the strengths, the good points, find the frustrations and kick them out, making way for improvements in an ongoing journey to unity and redemption.

The first point we wish to make is that this is a group of Jewish women, meaning we are actually ALL human beings with characters, personalities, needs, desires, interests and more. Being human as opposed to machines, we want to get to know one another, after all that is how a group develops and unity can take place. 

So,... step one is to let you know that I am currently wearing two hats. Yes, one is my artist hat and the other my OT hat. (Sorry, I forgot, for those of you who dont know what OT is, OT is the MOST amazing profession and the letters stand for Occupational Therapy)

Ok, for the artist I am currently sitting in front of my drawing board and sketching out a new plan. Drawing, painting, having fun. You see we want this picture to be stunning, the MOST beautiful image you can wish to set you eyes on. Right now there are a couple of areas of browns and greys. Now when those make up the trunk of a tree or an area of soil in a garden being planted, then that is positive and good and we like that, but when it is a muddy mess that covers some beautiful flowers, then we need to do some cleaning up. 

Now my OT hat is a little different. My OT hat helps me remember some info. about groups, group development, facilitating groups, evaluating, re-evaluating hm and a whole lot more theory there too. My OT hat says action is needed. My OT hat says that in order to make the evaluation effective we need to identify some points.

So our drawing board has some creativity taking place and also some lists of facts.

We invite you to join us to add to the list. Let us know what you have enjoyed, what you would like to see remaining just as it is and what you would like to see changing.

One aspect we have already identified. We tried to aim for 1000 Jewish women and quickly found it is a battle to get close to 200, to be honest when we are about 40 women, the group seems to be more of a group. So our first point to identify is less quantity and more quality.

We have more ideas forming on our drawing board, but do stop by, leave us a note or give us a call. We want to hear your positive feedback too.

Over the next 2 weeks or so, we will be drawing, sketching, painting, cleaning up, taking notes, making lists and formulating a new plan of action.

This new year of 5772 we hope to see a new improved international Tehillim group

Join us for the ride, it might be a bit of a journey, but a the end we look forward to the beauty emerging, rather like the spectacular butterfly coming out of her cocoon.


Wednesday, 16 November 2011

Hachnasat Kallah - We Need YOUR Help


We are busy in our Bayit Chadash Gemach. We have items to collect, inventory to take, and a new Chatan and Kallah to assist. 

Our new couple has a wedding coming up prior to Chanukah so the first item on the list is a Chanukiah. Of course, being newly weds they will need either candles or olive oil and wicks to accompany the Chanukiah. 

Being orphaned at a young age, we would like to give the Chatan something special to remember his parent and found a stunning Yartzheit candle holder. It is important to have something in ones home that connects one to our parents and when one of the parents is no longer with us, making the Yartzheit something special and attractive helps to beautify this Mitzvah rather than lead to depression and grief.

Other items on the list for the new Chatan are a new Jacket for winter, a heater, a book shelf for Seforim and a special Shabbos Tallit and Tallit bag.

There are other items needed too, so please help us to help another Jewish couple. 

Please help us to continue this improtant work, we can't do it without YOU. How do you help? By making a donation either monetary or of any NEW item suitable to build a new Jewish home in Eretz Yisrael.



Friday, 11 November 2011

Words of Prayer, Words of Kindness 54


This weeks Words of Prayer, Words of Kindness is prepared
in the merit of
Chaya Leora bas Devorah Gitta for Refuat HeNefesh and Refuat HaGuf

This Shabbat will be the Yartzheit of Rav Yehuda Leon Patilon and hence we decided to share a few thoughts about him. Rav Yehuda Leon was a Hidden Tzaddik who was known to be a simple and modest person. He did not eat or sleep much and was known as the "Holy Painter/ Artist".

He was an outstanding artist and made his Parnassa through selling his paintings. He sold his paintings ONLY for what he felt they were worth without inflating the price at all, so much so that on his tomb stone is written: "Praised be the one who did his business dealings in this world honestly", something that most of us (especially of today's time) are unable to achieve. He was known to go without many times rather than charge more than he would feel the painting was honestly worth.

Rav Yehuda Leon was still single later in life and was about 40 years old when he got married. When still single he went to a Hidden Tzaddik for a Brachah and Tefillot and was given the Brachah that from this day to 40 days you will meet your Bat Zivug, and so it was.

After he got married when he continued in his holy work even when his living quarters was in the section of the passageway of the apartment of others, this also served as his art studio, he was filled with happiness and love of Hashem. Every night he would arise at midnight and sit at the opening of the house and say the Tikkun Chatzot (midnight Lament prayer) while crying about the exile of the Shechina for the duration of about half an hour. Afterwards he would learn a number of hours of Mishnayot and Zohar and while it was still dark outside he would run towards the pure Mikvah and there he would prepare his soul for the sake of prayer. When he would leave the Mikvah he was accustomed to wake up a number of men to daven Shacharis in the Shul known as Cohanim which was situated in the centre of the neighbourhood.

Other than his care for the Shechinah which dealt with his relationship with Hashem, he was equally concerned about the needs of others, hence his care in being absolutely honest in all business dealings.

In honour of Rav Yehudah Leon, let us consider a few points to strengthen in our Business Dealings. We will include 3 or 4 in this post. Stay tuned for a further post where we will include other examples of honest in business.

Be honest in how you charge for your services or products.
- The Torah teaches to be scrupulous in our weights and measures this means both whether we measure the weight of products for sale e.g. 1 kg of vegetables must be 1 kg and not more or less.

- We have to be equally honest in measuring time for services. Regarding being honest in time for services, this falls on both the service provider and the client. While the service provider needs to be honest to charge the going rate per hour for that service and to use an accurate clock to time the hour, so too the client must be honest to pay for the full time spent. Hence if a service provider charges a given fee per the hour, the client must be honest too, to either stop a session at the end of the hour or to pay the additional time of the service provider in the event the client elects to go over time, or simply goes over time without having agreed to do so.

- If the service provider has other clients waiting for a session or other tasks scheduled for that day, the client taking additional time would be stealing time from other clients
who are waiting. Hence it is more honest to end a session on time and re-schedule a further session for another time.

- In the event a service provider travels to the client for the purposes of providing a service in their home or place of work, the service provider is permitted to charge a travelling fee. This is usually worked out by mileage and time taken to get to the destination. While the service provider needs to be honest in measuring the mileage and time taken, the client need also to be honest in compensating the service provider correctly.

Posts for this week:

Israel - Kineret and more


New Meaning to Yomim Tovim - an amazing story.




The names for this week are to be found on our website

Reminder this is an Exclusive international Tehillim group combining Torah, Tefillah and Maasim Tovim.
Shabbat Shalom

Shoshanah Shear

Thursday, 10 November 2011

Brief Background to Infant Massage


Infant massage is an age old gift that mothers have provided for their babies and children. 

In the late 1970's Vimala McClure, inspired by a trip to India, began devising a structured program to teach mothers the art of massaging their own babies.  The International Association of Infant Massage Instructors was born in 1981 and officially became a non-profit organization in 1986.

IAIM Mission Statement
“The purpose of the International Association of Infant Massage is to promote nurturing touch and communication through, training, education and research so that parents, caregivers and children are loved, valued and respected throughout the world community.”
Shoshanah Shear is an Occupational Therapist with over 20 years experience. She has been involved in working with and massaging babies, children and adults since 1984. In June 2009, Shoshanah became a Certified Infant Massage Instructor through the Israeli division of the International Association of Infant Massage and teaches parents, predominantly in Jerusalem and Israel the wonderful skill and benefits of massaging their baby.


To book a session or the course of infant massage for parents, please email Shoshanah and / or visit her website 

Wednesday, 9 November 2011

A New Meaning to Yomim Tovim!

  The above photograph is not of the set of twins mentioned in the article below

Many times when I give a treatment, the sessions ends, we say goodbye, I try to keep in touch and that is where things end. There are many times I dont hear what transpired after a session. Then there are times when a client will send a note of appreciation, including letting me know how they are doing. These are always very much appreciated and it is always wonderful to hear good news especially.

Today, I opened my email to find the most wonderful email awaiting me. A lady had come for a treatment having been married for several years without children. She had one treatment, enjoyed it so much she made a donation to our Bayit Chadash - Wedding Project to assist poor orphans to set up their new home and her name was added to our Tehillim list

I notified her when exapnding our Tehillim group to a special sub-group for married Jewish women needing the Brachah of Children. After a little time transpired, she gaciously declined the offer but stated how much she loved the idea.

Today I discovered the reason she did not participate in the special sub-group for the Brachah of Children, she was already expecting. For this special lady, the Yomim Tovim were truely good days and in the plural in the form of the arrival of her set of twins.

The end of her email she has kindly given permission to share with other Jewish women needing the Brachah of Children:

"Thank you for always staying in touch with me and for the incredible session you did for me. It really mentally changed my perception on the issues that I was facing on a subconscious level and once I came to terms with what I felt I was able to fall pregnant. The treatment was an unbelievable experience that I recommend for others to try." (By New Happy Mom)

For those Jewish women needing the Brachah of Children, please do join our Tehillim group, become part of our support group and schedule an appointment. May you too be blessed this year with Zera Shel Kayema.

To book a session simply email Shoshanah or visit my website

Wednesday, 2 November 2011

Hachnasat Kallah - Help a New Jewish Home

  These are a few example items we give to new couples. Every Package is unique and different. In the items above the only cleaning product is dishwashing liquid. 

For those of you who are happily married, Bezrat Hashem Ad MeaVeEsrim, do you remember setting up your new home? Do you remember purchasing cleaning products, cleaning cloths, brushes, dustpan etc?

I remember a few days after I got married, my mother took me to a supermarket to purchase a range of cleaning products that I did not yet have for my new little home. It might have been a simple shopping trip, but nothing is superficial or mundane.

Some of the Chatanim and Kallot we assist do not have parents to take them shopping, or if there is a living father, perhaps the mother is already in the world of truth and the new Kallah has no-one to take her to purchase these all important items that every home requires in order to be clean and acceptable as a Bayit Ne'Eman. Yes some fathers can and do go shopping, but some leave giving advice on appropriate cleaning items to the woman of the home. When that woman or mother is missing, who will provide this advice or these items?

Today when we were doing some errands, I noticed a few specials on at a local supermarket for cleaning products.

The new year has just begun and already we have 6 new homes to assist. We do have some lovely items, but we do not yet have any cleaning products to give to needy Chatanim and Kallot. We budget at present 250 Shekkels per package for the cleaning products section. If more comes in, there are probably more crucial items we can provide to the new couples.

Please help us to continue this improtant work by making a donation either monetary or of any NEW item suitable to build a new Jewish home in Eretz Yisrael.

If you are a supplier of any Green Products, Eco Friendly and are willing and able to donate a few samples or products to include in our gift packages, pleasebe in touch either via our website or email us to chessedveemet@gmail.com

If you have a useful tip related to running your own home to share with a Kallah who does not have parents or family to offer this advice, please email it to us to pass on to the Kallot. 

Thank you for your kindness

Shoshanah Shear

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