Sunday, 23 November 2014

Shidduch Problems - Men over 50 - Part 2

We're discussing the issues raised when a man over 50 wants to marry and still have children and sets a number of conditions before even considering if the woman might be a potential match. Please visit our previous post for more information. 

As mentioned in the other post, we took this scenario to some women on a few F.B. groups. The next group of responses had some comments of understanding towards the man's situation. 

A few women acknowledged the man's position but stated that "given the fact they have let life slide by and many have not focused on marriage when younger, they have little respect for them. The women request that these men consider marrying a woman who already has children or adopting." (anonymous)

A med student said that "the feeling of needing to have a biological child is not limited to gender. The difference is, a woman can now-a-days have a biological child without a man. For a man to do so, it is a lot harder, and in Israel, impossible. (Finding an egg donor and surrogate). I don't think it's wrong for the man to look for someone who he can have a child with, esp. if he's saying it upfront. If a woman doesn't agree with that approach they don't need to marry him. If both parties know what they're getting into, that's their right." (R. B)

"I think it is fair to say they are looking to start a family but ridiculous and arrogant to make fertility treatments a precondition to even dating. It worries me that if this is how older men, who are "supposed" to be mature and wiser, think - what hope is there for the younger generation when looking for a Shidduch?" (Anonymous)

"I think it is very fair for them to say that they want kids, preferably their own. On the other hand, it makes it icky to specify what is needed for that to happen." (Anonymous)

Please visit our blog again for the next post of comments on what women think of this request. 

Do you have an opinion on the topic. Please post your comment below.

Are you searching for a Shidduch? Visit our website, Chessed Ve'Emet and be in touch for your Shidduch Interview.

Having some difficulty with the Shidduch Process? Be in touch with Chessed Ve'Emet for a Shidduch workshop, mentoring or counselling to assist in easing your process and helping you come to Chuppah.

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