Monday, 11 May 2015

Utilizing Graphology toward Finding the Right Mate

Guest Post

You are about to make the most important decision in your life – choosing your spouse.  How much are you willing to invest in order to ensure you make the right decision?  The price of a trip abroad?  The value of a weekend at a resort hotel?  The cost of a new wardrobe?

The central and most rewarding feature for me as a graphologist is being in a position to guide another person who is faced with a critical decision.  For example, we now know that marriages end up in divorce in alarming percentages because of latent spousal abuse.  What if I told you that this element in a potential spouse could be detected in his/her handwriting?  Wouldn't you want to know that in advance?  What if I told you that I can provide you with a detailed outline of the potential areas of conflict that you and your partner will likely face based on your current personality profile?  Wouldn’t you want to have that vital data in your hands before you decide to go ahead or not?

Life seems to be moving along at a record pace.  Increased technology, more efficient information systems, and advanced communication options have propelled us all into the 21st century at great speed.  One day we buy a new computer and the next week it is almost obsolete.  The plethora of unsolicited e-mails, internet sites, product sales, consumer services are unparelled in the last decade.  Things fly by quickly at work with piles of paperwork to do and less time in which to get it done.  Vacations come and go in a flash.  Family, friends, acquaintances all place a demand on our time – we have to work very hard to make the time for them all.

Imagine trying to find your mate in this whirlwind atmosphere.  Hundreds if not thousands sign up for on-line dating services.  The choices are broad, the opportunities seem abundant, and personal data can change from moment to moment. 

But am I cut out to sign up?  Can I trust that what I read about someone is really true?  How can we begin to make some sense and order out of what seems to have gotten out of hand?

Many of you have well-meaning friends and relatives who know just who is right for you.  There are matchmakers who are quite successful at what they do, and many a couple get happily married.  On the other hand there are many who end up in abusive relationships and get stuck in a mess from which they don't know how to get out because even shadchanim are not always privy to all of the information that is out there on a person.  You utilize the tools that you have to the best of your ability, but oftentimes the deeper you get into a relationship, the more complicated it becomes. 

You can go from euphoria to mild depression within a short time span and agonize about whether you are doing the right thing or not.

What to do?

There is a relatively quick and efficient method by which a more objective approach can help you make an intelligent decision.  It is called Graphology.  What is it about our handwriting that reveals our true personality?  Graphology is the study of the psychological structure of the human being through his or her handwriting – simply put, the science of handwriting analysis.  Graphology is based on the assumption that handwriting is a spontaneous expression of feelings, thoughts, and mental and emotional attitudes.  Because it is spontaneous and not totally subject to conscious control, graphologists believe that handwriting presents an objective picture of the writer’s personality.  Dating back to 1886, there have been numerous experiments that have conclusively shown that each stroke of a handwriting sample is dictated by the brain and not by the muscular formation of the hand.  Therefore, handwriting is essentially brain writing – hence, you are what you write.

Today, more than ever, we should equip ourselves with as much firepower and information as we possibly can.  This would not necessarily lead you to reject the one you are dating, although it could.  More importantly, it points to areas where additional work is needed in order to make the relationship work over the long haul.  After all, nobody is perfect and we all have our moments.  Knowing what to expect lowers anxiety, helps you plan, and avoids pitfalls. 

Think of a graphological analysis as that personal support base that could give you the help, the input, or the just the reassurance you may need before making those critical decisions about a marriage partner.


Dr. Bernie Kastner, a Psychotherapist and Graphologist, is a long-time member of the American Society for Professional Graphologists in the U.S. and The Israel Society for Scientific Graphology. Feel free to visit his website at:

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