Monday, 26 January 2015

An Answer to a Silent Wish



Do you ever read Pirkei Avot? If you do, you might be familiar with a teaching that "...there is an eye that sees, an ear that hears and everything is written down in the book."
 (Teaching by Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi Pirkei Avot - Ethic of our Fathers, Chapter 2 verse 1)


Mostly we think of this in terms of what our actions are to keep us on the right track. But today, I had an insight to what this Eye sees and what the Ear hears and an idea that everything being written in the book can be for our own good too in another way, not just recording our actions in terms of what we might have done wrong.

Last week I posted a question in an "Ask the Rabbi group", concerning the Torah definition of an orphan. You see, I am often told that a person is only an orphan when they do not have a parent to help them financially and are a young child but once they are married or financially independent they are no longer an orphan. This idea troubles me. I was still at school when my late father died and to me, it's is not only finance at all. With each year that goes by I am aware how much I can not share with my father. I can not be with him at birthdays, send him a card or receive a card. I can't ask his advice, hear his voice, or a myriad of other tasks people tend to enjoy with their parents. I made a comment on the group that ended with something to the effect of "... a parent also shares your birthday with you."

For me, I live in Israel and my father is buried in Central Africa. Not only can I not talk to him on my birthday, I can't even visit his grave.

Today, as I was busy doing something, my husband let me know that Rabbi Moshe Silberhaft, the Traveling Rabbi is visiting the cemetery where my father is buried. He posted pictures stating that the cemetery is well maintained, putting at ease the minds of all those who have loved one's buried there. I sent him a message asking if he can visit my late fathers grave and when told he could and did, it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders.

Someone heard and read when I wrote that a parent who left this world can no longer have contact with one at the time of a birthday. Yes, it is a week early, but the timing to me is perfect. It has been years since I had any contact with my father on my birthday. To me, everything is written down in a book reminds me of my "things to do list". Hashem really is in charge. He directs our footsteps. He co-ordinates timing of everything. As the Traveling Rabbi mentioned, he is only the Shaliach, it was all arranged in Shamayim.

So next time you say or do something, remember, there is an Eye that Sees, an Ear that Hears and everything is written down in a book. Now on the one hand, let that help you to keep on the right path, but for those of us who need a little comfort, we are not alone. Even if a loved one and a parent has left this world, there is still an Eye that Sees, an Ear that Hears and all our needs, everything is written in the book. He takes note of what is important to us and if you would like something like a message or Tehillim read at the grave of your loved one on their Yartzheit or close to your birthday, ask Hashem, He certainly has many messengers and can arrange all that is needed in the most perfect timing.

This blog post has been written by Shoshanah Shear, co-director of Bayit Chadash Gemach which is dedicated to assisting orphan Chatanim and Kallot at the time they marry. The Gemach is established in the merit of my late father Nathan Gershon ben Nathan who was born an orphan and was Niftar when I was still at school. The article is copyrighted and may not be used without written permission of the author.


Sunday, 25 January 2015

Shidduch Sunday - 2

It's Sunday again and time for another "Shidduch Sunday" post.

To answer a question recently received, we work with all the Hashkafot that follow authentic Torah. These Hashkafot can be Orthodox, modern Orthodox, Dati Leumi, Chardal, Yeshivish, Chassidish or any other Hashkafa but our focus is to build Torah homes, with a minimum of Shabbos, Kashrut and Taharas HaMishpachah. 

As you will see if you follow these posts for long enough, we work with a range of ages from 20 - over 80 years.

Our two singles for today are:

 - A single lady who is in her late 20's, short, Torah observant. She does not give a Hashkafa but likes modern ideas. She is looking for a Shidduch with a Torah observant man who is age range 27 - 34 years who is working but will learn with his wife.

- A single male in his mid 20's who is Chabad and works full-time.  He is looking for a lady also from Chabad with good manners, soft spoken who is interested in living in America and prepared to have her husband work as opposed to going on Shlichut.

If you know anyone to suit either of these singles or any on the other "Shidduch Sunday" posts, please be in touch. If you know Jewish singles who wish to marry and to have a Jewish home built on authentic Torah values please have them be in touch with us too. 

Shidduch Sunday is a blog post prepared to you by Chessed Ve'Emet as part of our Shidduch service
Do visit our website for more information of the services that we offer.


Sunday, 18 January 2015

Shidduch Sunday - 1


It's Sunday and time for another "Shidduch Sunday" post. I apologize for the lack of posting last week. We were very busy with the arrival of a new bookshelf for our developing Lending Library. Of course the bookshelf meant we could unpack and put some books on the shelf. We have much work to do before we can open fully. In the meantime, it's time for "Shidduch Sunday". So that leads us to a question. Do you want to see a specific age group or Haskafa? If not, we'll be posting randomly from our Shidduch Database. If you know someone who meets any of the brief sketches of those on our Shidduch Database, please be in touch for a Shidduch interview.

Our first single for today is a lady in her 30's of average build. She is single, never been married. Calls herself Orthodox, looks Litvish but has a tendency towards learning Chassidus. She is looking for a man who is between 32 and 42 in age, and strong in Torah. She prefers someone not Israeli but ideally would like to live in Israel. 

Our next single is a man who is 50 years old who is Yeshivish or Litvish in terms of Hashkafa. He is shorter in height and learns in Kollel. He is looking for a Shidduch with a woman who is still able to have children and is also Chareidi / Litvish in Hashkafa who is prepared to live in Eretz Yisrael. 

Do you know of any Jews looking to get married. Do have them be in touch with Chessed Ve'Emet for our Shidduch Service.

If you are struggling with the Shidduch process or find the need to clarify your life goals, values etc, do be in touch as we have both counseling and Shidduch coaching or mentoring available. 


Wednesday, 7 January 2015

How Well Do You Know Yourself?


We've had a few very good Shidduch interviews in the last few days. There are times our interview can last as much as 2 hours, actually one client managed to go over that time. We are finding though that those who know themselves well, have identified their goal in life and know what kind of home they want and what is important to them, complete the interview in about an hour.That's how long it should be.

How well do you know yourself? Have you taken the time to think about what is important for you in life? Do you know who you are looking for? Have you identified your life goals? what are you passionate about? 

If you are unsure and are finding that dating is hard as you keep meeting the wrong types of people, we'd love to help you. Chessed Ve'Emet offer Shidduch coaching or mentoring individually and also workshops in a group. You are welcome to be in touch if you are searching for some assistance to manage your Shidduch process more effectively.

Sunday, 4 January 2015

Shidduch Sunday

We manage a Professional Shidduch database and are finding some positive response to posting a brief outline of those on our Shidduch database to help to find more suitable matches for them. Without any promises, I'm starting Shidduch Sunday, posting each Sunday a brief few lines about someone on our database and who they are looking for. Please note, there is much more to the person and to who they are looking for. 

For those who think they meet the description, please do be in touch for an interview. Please note, we only match those who have completed our structured interview with us. For more about our Shidduch service please do visit our website. 

Our Shidduch Sketch for today is a lady in her 50's who is divorced with children and describes herself as being Chardal or Dati Leumi. She is looking for a man in his 50's or 60's. The man can be FFB, Baal Teshuvah or a convert with similar Hashkafa. She would like to live in Israel. If you know any Jewish men in their 50's or 60's who are interested in marrying a Jewish woman in her 50's please do be in touch. 

Thank you for your assistance in helping those on our Shidduch database to find a suitable match. We look forward to seeing them all marry.

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